I’ve been in quite the Battle the past few weeks. My pain levels have limited my ability to complete most tasks that I do in my Daily Life. It has been quite a while since my pain has been so debilitating. I live with pain on a daily basis yet it is rare that I have pain so debilitating. Most of my trigger points have been activated and causing sore muscles and joints. It is rare for me to not be able to do my walks or to do them with my joints and my muscles in my legs bothering me so much. I always love my walks and the past couple of weeks I haven’t been able to complete them in a way that I normally do.
The issue with this when it happens day after day after day it is a struggle to keep yourself emotionally and mentally fit. My body gets so tired and worn out from the pain. At the two week point it is so hard to not just mentally and emotionally give in. I did give in for a short period of time a good cry and a bit of yelling at the wall, then I had to get back to the battle. The battle itself gets overwhelming.
Im feeling a bit better today. Trying not to overdo myself. With God in my life I have had some joy through the pain. I just try to remember how much He loves me. I know it is ironic. Why do I, or would I love and be loved by a God who has made me so sick? I don’t completely know why God has given me or others this sort of affliction. Yet what I do know is when I walk in His Love and Grace. I also realize that He loves me more than love was created to be. Knowing all of that brings me joy and helps me to want to keep fighting this dreaded Fibromyalgia. I strive to walk in His light. Like any soldier who is in battle like this we do wane in our mental and emotional state.
I am working as hard as I can to hang in there and do what is necessary in my life. It is the only way I will survive this life. Others have worse so I also do try to be grateful every day that God has spared me of so much worse things In this life.